


let's sneak into heaven (are you coming or not?)

by etherealthings



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Guardian Angel, M/M, cody is a mess, ive been working on this for too damn long, noel sucks at being an angel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealthings/pseuds/etherealthings
Summary: Cody Ko is a walking disaster who is constantly on the brink of death. Noel Miller is being punished by God by having to be his guardian angel, given the difficult task of keeping Cody alive.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 19
Kudos: 91





	1. i think god's forgotten my name

**Author's Note:**

> RPF: this is all fiction i respect the boys and their relationships and this is just for fuuuun  
> also there's some mentions of death and blood so read at your own risk!

It all started the day Cody turned nine years old. 

On the way to the park to celebrate his birthday, a truck smashed into the car carrying Cody, his sister, and his parents. The little boy was the only one to survive. 

He spent the next nine years being raised by his aunt and uncle, who did everything to protect him short of wrapping him up in bubble wrap. 

At ten, his seat belt became undone while on a roller coaster.

At thirteen, he got into a surfing accident and was legally dead for a minute before they brought him back. 

At sixteen, he got trapped in a falling elevator and somehow survived.

At eighteen, he went off to college to study programming. 

At twenty-one, he graduated and got a position in a big company as a senior iOS developer.

Now Cody was twenty-nine, he was fairly certain that God, or the universe, or Mother Nature, or whoever was out to get him. 

He was supposed to be dead. 

But, then again, someone or  _ something _ was keeping him alive. Every single time he was on the brink of death, he felt a pair of cold, cold hands bring him back down to Earth.

*

Noel was an angel. 

He had a pair of wings, he glowed a lovely golden aura, and he lived out his days in a lofty apartment. In Heaven, of course. They were much, much nicer than the shitty apartments offered in Hell. 

Noel wasn’t  _ supposed  _ to be an angel, but he wasn’t exactly a demon either. He just existed in Purgatory, and that was incredibly boring. One thing led to another, and he tricked his way into the angels’ domain above the clouds. 

And it worked. 

Well, it worked for a little while. About a hundred years. Until the old, deadbeat god got replaced with a new, more interactive god. She was quite hands-on with the humans and nothing slipped away from her. 

So when god, who goes by the name Aleena, found out that Noel cheated his way into Heaven and was simply living the high life without doing any work, she figured that a punishment would be more fitting than being simply damned to Hell. 

“Mister Noel Miller, is it?” Aleena asked one day, sitting on top of her desk with her legs crossed. 

“That’s me,” Noel mumbled in response, annoyed that he was awoken from a nap and forced to come to this meeting. 

“Do you know why I called you here?” she asked, her gentle voice sweet and slow, like golden honey. 

“No, ma’am, I do not,” he replied, trying to stifle a yawn. 

“I know you’re not an angel, Noel. As a matter of fact, I know that you aren’t a demon either. You were supposed to live out your days in Purgatory, not doing much of anything at all,” Aleena said, her tone unwavering. 

Noel’s eyes widened and his heart started racing. He could not get kicked out of Heaven, absolutely the fuck not. 

“Listen I-” he began to say, but Aleena cut him off. 

“Save it. I’m not sending you to Hell or Purgatory. I have a better idea for a punishment.”

Noel wasn’t sure how to respond. So, he did the only thing he knew how to do well. 

Flirt. 

“I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” he said quietly, taking a step forward towards the God sitting in front of him. He placed a hand on her knee, clearly trying to seduce her. 

Aleena forcefully shoved his hand off, nearly sending him flying backwards because of how powerful her grip was. 

“Mr. Miller, my wife definitely would not like it if I cheated on her with a lowly “angel” like yourself,” she said calmly, then rolled her eyes. “Stand back and stay back,” she commanded. 

Noel felt embarrassed, but it was worth a shot. After all, it usually worked on other angels when he wanted to get something out of them. But Aleena wasn’t just another angel, she was literally God herself.

The woman pulled out a thick file and smacked it onto the desk. 

“I’m assigning you to Cody Kolo-, Cody Ko. He’s...well...he’s a walking disaster, to put it lightly,” she explained. 

Noel took a very slow step closer, trying to see the picture of the man attached to the file. 

“He has had more near-death experiences than any human I’ve ever observed. Your assignment is to study his file, understand his ways, and keep him alive. Do you understand me?” Aleena asked. 

Noel wrinkled his eyebrows and scowled. “What am I supposed to keep this mess of a man alive for?” he scoffed.

“Because all human life is precious, Mr. Miller. You would know that if you were actually an angel. Besides, you do know what happens if angels can’t keep their assignments alive, correct?”

Noel looked back up from the file and met the woman’s eyes. He didn’t answer. 

“They get exiled, Noel. No more cushy, heavenly lifestyle for you,” she hummed. 

“God damn,” Noel cursed under his breath. 

“Don’t use my title in vain, Noel. Keep this man alive, take care of him, and you can stay in Heaven. If he dies, you are exiled, and he will most likely take your place in Heaven. Good luck,” Aleena said, and with that, Noel was transported back to his apartment with this massive file. 

That happened a year ago. 

Between then and now, Noel had picked Cody off the verge of death at least twenty times. Whether it was a simple fall, or alcohol poisoning, or choking on a piece of bread, Noel was always there to pull Cody back and make sure that catastrophe of person continued to survive. 

*

It was eight in the morning. 

Cody always was an early riser, even if he didn’t have anything to do. Today was Saturday, which meant he had breakfast plans with his friends at ten. 

He stood in the bathroom, hands on the sink, as he stared at himself in the mirror. His face was riddled with faded bruises and scars from his many, many accidents. Little did he know, he was about to add one more. 

Cody began the task of gingerly putting his contacts in. One contact was in, zero pain, zero accidents. That was a good sign! 

Until he realized his glasses fell on the floor. With only one contact in, Cody’s depth perception was off and things didn’t go according to plan when he bent down to pick them up.

For anybody else, this was an easy task. Bend down, pick up the glasses, put them on the counter. 

Not for Cody. 

On his way down, he smacked his nose on the cold ceramic of the sink and started furiously bleeding. 

“Fucking shit, fuck, goddammit,  _ shiiiiit _ ,” Cody whined as he sat on the bathroom rug, clutching his bloody nose in his hand. His head was spinning, and he was pretty sure he was about to lose consciousness. 

_ I can’t go out like this. Not on the floor of the bathroom with only one contact in. Come on, Cody.  _ he thought to himself.

With one bloody hand, he attempted to grip onto the edge of the sink and pull himself up. And like a fucking cartoon character, his bloody hand slipped against the slick ceramic and he fell back down onto the floor. 

“Holy goddess in Heaven, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” A sudden, unfamiliar voice cursed behind him. 

At this point, Cody was sure he was hallucinating from blood loss or dizziness. He was home alone, he lived alone, and nobody had the keys to his apartment. 

He felt a cold hand yank him upwards by the collar of his shirt. Cody blinked away the tears that stung in his eyes and looked in the mirror. He was met with the image of his bloody face, as well as the image of a human-like figure with a golden glow standing directly behind him. 

He screamed. 

“Get yourself together, you fucking moron!” the unfamiliar voice cursed again, this time grabbing his shoulders and looking him directly in the face. 

Cody stared into the eyes of this being, trying to make out what he was looking at. Bright green eyes, dark brown hair, pearly white teeth, and...wings? Feathery, ivory-colored wings. 

He fainted. 

*

Noel groaned as he transported Cody onto the couch in the living room. 

“Why did I have to get stuck with him? Why? It’s just not fucking fair,” Noel whined to himself, pacing as he tried to figure out what to do next. By this point, he had already healed the poor son of a bitch’s nose and was wondering if he should go back and get rid of all the blood on the bathroom floor. 

He decided cleaning the bathroom was not part of his job. 

Noel ran a hand through his hair and ruffled his wings. “Okay. Alright. I got this, he’s fine. I can leave now,” he said under his breath as he stared down at his feet. 

“W-Who the fuck are you?!” Cody’s voice trembled behind Noel. He was standing and holding a pool cue, looking ready to attack. 

Noel whipped around, his eyes widening as he surveyed the situation. 

“You can see me?” he asked quietly, putting his hands up in the air to show innocence.

Cody didn’t lower his weapon. 

“Of course I can see you, you’re fucking glowing in the middle of my living room!” he cried out in confusion. 

Noel took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Right. Okay. I’m not here to hurt you, so lower your big stick, alright? I’m an angel. I’m Noel Miller, and I’m your personal guardian angel,” he clarified. 

Cody finally lowered the pool cue, but still kept his grip on it. 

“What does that mean?” he asked in a deadpan tone. 

“It means...I am the one keeping you alive even though the universe wants you dead,” Noel explained, inching closer towards Cody. 

As he walked closer, Cody became transfixed by the angelic being in front of him. An angel? A real guardian angel, who just saved him from bleeding out on his bathroom floor, was standing in his living room. 

Noel grabbed the pool stick from Cody’s hand and dropped it to the ground. “Don’t freak out,” he said quietly. “But you’re not supposed to be able to see me. And because you  _ can  _ see me, that means something is wrong.”

Cody felt like he was going to pass out again, but something wasn’t letting him. He felt Noel’s grip on his shoulder again and realized that the angel was keeping him conscious. 

“W-What’re you gonna do now, h-huh?” Cody stuttered out. “Give me the kiss of life or something?” 

Noel scowled and let go of Cody, letting the man drop onto the couch. “Gross, no. All I had to do was hold onto you, and I already did that.”

“Just fucking explain to me what the hell is going on,” Cody grumbled, watching as the angel paced back and forth in his living room once again. 

“Okay. You know how you’ve almost died, like, more times than either of us can count?” Noel began to explain. 

Cody nodded and kept quiet. 

“It was me, dude. I was the one who saved your life every single time, starting from the day your whole family was obliterated in that car accident,” Noel said casually, yet he had callousness in his tone. 

Cody winced, but continued to be quiet as Noel told his story. 

“Anyway, ever since then I’ve been keeping you from literally dying, which is difficult considering you are a trainwreck. You have hurt yourself more times than any other human being I have ever seen, and that is not an exaggeration,” Noel ranted on and on, until Cody finally cut him off. 

“Well, thank you,” Cody said sincerely, looking up at the glowing figure. “For saving my life and stuff.”

“What? Thank you? Dude. Don’t  _ thank _ me, this is my job. I quite literally have to keep you alive if I want to stay in heaven, which I do, so...don’t thank me,” Noel quickly replied, then looked at his wrist, where he actually wasn’t wearing a watch. 

“Well, would ya look at the time? I gotta go, uh, do angel shit. Bye,” he said, then snapped his fingers. 

Nothing happened. Noel snapped his fingers again. And again. 

“Um...are you still supposed to be standing here?” Cody asked, trying to stifle a laugh. 

“Shut up, human,” Noel said through gritted teeth. “I need to call my boss,” he mumbled, then stalked off to another room. 

He pulled out his phone and called Aleena’s number. 

“God speaking, this better be important, because I am busy!” Aleena’s voice crackled on the other line. 

“Aleena, it’s Noel. I’m stuck on Earth. My human, Cody, he can see me,” he explained quickly. 

The goddess was silent for a moment. “This is highly unusual, Mr. Miller,” she replied. “I’ll see what I can do, but in the meantime, it looks like you’re staying on Earth with your human. Goodbye!” 

Noel couldn’t even protest before Aleena hung up on him. 


	2. give me a boost over heaven's gate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noel tries to act like a human, and he absolutely sucks at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi lmao i know it took me like six months to update this sorryyy  
> RPF disclaimer that this is all fiction!! none of this is real and it's all for funsies

Noel sulked back out into the living room with his lips pursed. 

“So…” he began quietly, not as boisterously confident as he was earlier. 

Cody looked up at him from his spot on the couch and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Noel sighed and sat down on the floor by the coffee table. 

“I need to crash here for a while,” Noel stated calmly. 

Cody furrowed his eyebrows. “Come again?”

“I need to stay here until I can get back to Heaven. I can’t just, like, get a hotel or something because I’m not exactly flush with human money,” Noel explained. 

Cody nodded and nervously rubbed his knees. 

“Alright then. Guess you’re coming to breakfast with me and my friends. Can you hide your wings?” Cody asked, feeling silly for asking such a ridiculous question. 

Noel grumbled to himself as he folded his wings up and hid them beneath the hoodie he was wearing. “Yes. But I won’t enjoy it.”

Cody rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s go, what’s the worst that can happen?”

*

Noel was shockingly awful at pretending to be human. 

First and foremost, he didn’t expect other humans to be able to see him. So, when Noel was staring at Devon and biting his lip, Spock noticed.

“Is, uh, your friend gonna say anything? Or just stare at Devon like that?” he asked. 

Noel snapped out of it and looked away, pretending to fiddle with his hoodie strings. 

“Sorry! Zoned out, got lost in my thoughts and stuff,” he explained quickly.

As the two of them sat down at the table with Spock and Devon, Cody struggled to explain how he knew Noel. 

“Um, he just moved into my apartment building. We’ve been hanging out, right, Noel?” Cody said, turning to the angel.

Noel nodded and grinned, trying to be enthusiastic. “Oh, yeah! Hanging out with Cody is fun and all, except how he almost dies every thirty minutes.”

Spock laughed at that. “Did you have another near-death experience today, my guy?” 

Cody rolled his eyes and idly swirled the ice in his glass. “Yes,” he grumbled.

Noel interjected and said “I saved him though! I’m good at my job.”

Devon had a puzzled expression. “Your...job?”

Cody’s eyes widened and he coughed, trying to buy himself time to come up with something. 

“Noel is...a nurse! Yup, a nurse. At the local hospital,” he quickly explained. 

Noel furrowed his eyebrows and nodded slowly. “Right, yeah, a nurse. I sure do love working at the local hospital and saving people's lives." 

It didn't sound convincing at all. 

The conversation continued as they all exchanged pleasantries, and Spock looked confused when he noticed Noel didn’t order breakfast.

“Oh, I don’t _need_ to eat,” Noel explained with a nonchalant shrug. 

Cody smiled and nodded, then realized how weird that sounded. 

“He means that he already ate breakfast. Of course he _needs_ to eat, he’s human, after all,” Cody said through gritted teeth, eyeing Noel. 

Noel grinned and hummed in agreement. “Right! I love eating. I love...sandwiches?” he said, his voice clearly faltering. 

Devon opened his mouth to speak, but Cody interrupted him by turning to Noel. 

“Come to the bathroom with me? Please? Now.” 

Noel looked confused, but shrugged and followed Cody to the bathroom. 

Spock and Devon looked at each other, and chuckled at the same time. 

“They’re totally fucking, right?” Devon asked.

Spock nodded after taking a sip of his coffee. “Oh, definitely.”

*

Cody pulled Noel into the large stall with him and locked the door behind them. 

Noel smirked and took his hoodie off, stretching his wings. 

“Oh, are we doing this?” he asked, reaching down to unbutton his pants. 

Cody scoffed and slapped his hand away. 

“You need to act more human, you idiot,” he hissed.

Noel scowled as he rebuttoned his jeans. 

“Whatever, dude. I’m _not_ human, remember? _I’m_ just here to keep you from dying,” he reminded. 

“If you’re going to be stuck on Earth with me, you’re going to have to get better at acting human. Or else people will start to suspect things and think we're insane. Now put your wings away and let’s go back out,” Cody said. 

He promptly turned around and smacked directly into the door of the stall. He then fell backwards, clutching his forehead and whining. 

“I didn’t realize I was standing so close to the door,” Cody moaned in pain.

Noel stared down at him and laughed.

“Oh my goddess, you’re such a clumsy ass bitch!” he said in between laughs. “You have no spatial awareness, literally none!” 

Cody stood back up and dusted himself off as he glared at the dark haired man. 

“It is literally your job to keep these things from happening to me!” 

Noel shook his head and put his hoodie back on, concealing his wings underneath once more. 

“No, Cody. My job is to make sure you don’t die when these things inevitably happen to you,” he corrected. 

*

The rest of breakfast thankfully went on without another incident. As Cody and Noel were walking back to his apartment, Noel decided to share his opinions on the human world. Cody didn’t ask. 

“Y’know,” Noel began, “I kinda thought all humans were ugly. Like, they’re just not naturally beautiful like angels are, yeah? But the more humans I see around this little city of yours, the more I notice that’s not true.”

Cody rolled his eyes, not even looking up from his phone except to make sure he wasn’t bumping into anything. 

“Not that I’m gonna go around and start fucking humans. That would be reckless, even for me,” Noel explained. 

He then elbowed Cody. “Hey! Listen to me!” he whined. 

Cody pocketed his phone and looked over to the man walking alongside him. 

“What am I supposed to tell you? Yeah, humans aren’t all that bad. But, then again, I haven’t seen that many angels except for you.”

Noel furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you saying I’m not the most ethereal being you’ve ever seen?”

Cody was quiet for a moment. “Do you wanna go get a smoothie?” he replied. 

Noel shoved him for avoiding the question. “Tell me I’m pretty!” 

The other man rolled his eyes. “Yes, you’re absolutely celestial. Smoothie?”

After hearing that he was, in fact, the most ethereal being on Earth, Noel agreed to celebrate with a smoothie.

*

Later in the apartment, Noel was cross-legged sitting on the carpet, stretching his wings after having them hidden for so long. Cody was cleaning around his apartment, desperately trying to keep his mind off of the supernatural creature sitting on the floor of his living room. 

Noel’s phone rang. “Hello, Noel Miller speaking, the best angel in all of Heaven, how can I help you?” he answered.

The woman on the other line sighed exasperatedly as she responded. 

“Noel, this is Kelsey. I have some information regarding your situation.”

Noel looked momentarily confused. “Hi Kelsey, do I...know you?” he asked slowly. 

Kelsey groaned on the other line. “I’m Aleena’s wife, you absolute-- okay, whatever. Listen closely.” 

Noel got up and walked to Cody’s bedroom, not wanting the man to hear about what was going on. Kelsey continued to explain.

“I did some research and it turns out this is happening because you’re not actually a born angel. Because you were supposed to stay in Purgatory, you had limited visits to Earth. You ran out of those visits, and now you’re stuck there for...an unforeseeable amount of time.”

Noel didn’t say anything. This was his worst nightmare coming true. Being stuck on Earth with a walking disaster of a human being was not at all how he planned his life to turn out.

“Well, can you get me out of here? You and Aleena are pretty powerful, right? Can’t you do some magical stuff and just let me back in?” he asked.

Kelsey sighed. “If it was that easy, we would have done that already. This is a super unique situation so unfortunately you’re going to stay there for a while until we figure out what to do next. We’ll stay in touch, alright? Call me if you need me, but try not to need me. Glory to Aleena, goodbye!” and with that, she hung up.

"Yeah, glory to Aleena," Noel mumbled as he threw his phone down on Cody’s bed. This was awful, genuinely fucking awful. He hated it here and all he wanted was to go back to Heaven, where everything was sparkly and warm and nobody had to sit in traffic for 45 minutes just to go somewhere nearby. 

Cody walked into his bedroom and noticed immediately that something was wrong. 

“You okay?” he asked casually, trying to act cool about the entire situation. 

Noel looked up at him and smiled. “Yup! Everything is all good! I can’t wait to learn more about Earth and what human beings do for fun!” he said, though it came out bitterly sarcastic. 

“Right...well, I guess you can come with me to Devon’s company party tomorrow night. Just please try to act like a normal human being. I’ll coach you on that, I guess. Even though I suck at being a human myself. Whatever, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he grinned over at the angel. 

Noel sighed deeply and fell backwards onto Cody’s bed. Between his own inability to act human and Cody’s inability to not die, this was definitely going to be more work than he was ever willing to do. 

**Author's Note:**

> i may or may not only update this every six months hehe sorry  
> codykobisexual on tumblr <3


End file.
